Valentine's Day is sort of upon us. It's a time when the main of us flip our ideas to hearts, flowers, playing cards and sweet. For many people, it's a time of expressing by "issues" what we discover arduous to say with phrases. For many people, talking from the center and expressing our sentiments is difficult or uncomfortable, so, "we are saying it with flowers."
Many people lengthy to have the ability to look our accomplice within the eye and say what's in our hearts, to be fully open, to be clear. Many people lengthy for the inconvenience that permits connecting with out phrases, an intimate that permits connecting with however a loving look or a loving contact.
Many people lengthy to be in relationship … not simply "acquaintanceship."
Many people lengthy to be wrapped up inside one another's coronary heart and soul and never simply caught up within the wrapping of our accomplice's "packaging."
So, this Valentine's Day, it could be a welcome alternative to take a while for self-reflection and think about what your perfect relationship would actually, actually be like, proper right here, proper now … not someplace down the highway … sooner or later. In spite of everything, the longer term begins now.
So, some inquiries to inquire about?
Do you see your relationship as a "drawback to be solved", or as an journey to embrace collectively?
Do you see battle as a good friend and alternative for development or connection, or as a ache within the butt?
Does your accomplice assist your changing into "entire", or as somebody who retains you from being all which you could be … on each stage?
Are you prepared to cross the bridge to "meet" your accomplice, or are you solely ready in your accomplice to return to your aspect?
Do you acknowledge that your accomplice's change into a conduct?
Do you acknowledge that each frustration is a present in your relationship?
Do you and your accomplice actually, actually and brazenly dream your goals collectively?
Are you able to and your accomplice gently and lovingly maintain each other's hand, or do it is advisable to grasp on tightly and chain your accomplice's soul to your manner of be-ing and do-ing?
How do you view love? Does love permit you to stand tall and upright or does love imply "leaving" on the opposite?
Do you settle for your defeats together with your head up and your eyes forward with the grace of a girl or a person, or with the problem or resentment or begrudging of a kid?
So, on this Valentine's Day, are you able to plant your personal backyard with out ready for somebody to deliver you the flowers?
On this Valentine's Day, are you able to expertise your personal sweetness with out ready for somebody to deliver you the sweet?
On this Valentine's Day, how are you in relationship with your personal coronary heart? Are you able to look within the mirror at your personal reflection and say: "I like you with all my coronary heart; I’m full?" or do you "want another person" to finish you?
Do playing cards, sweet, and flowers create your sense of well-being, or can they merely the icing on the cake of a full, and full coronary heart, your personal full and full coronary heart?
On this Valentine's Day, are you in relationship or in acquaintanceship? How are you aware?
Maybe, take a while and ask your coronary heart the place your coronary heart is that this Valentine's Day, and be nonetheless, and pay attention. What’s your coronary heart telling you?
(c) 2005, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. All rights in all media reserved.